Archive for April, 2009

Intimacy in the orthodox community

April 18, 2009

Forget everything you thought you knew. All the folklore, fallacies, and out and out lies. What “kosher sex” is really all about is love, passion and the knowledge that no matter what people think they know, is just that…what they THINK they know. The truth is, the Torah commands that the husband satisfies his wife. It is quite the opposite from the secular world, where men take it for granted that they are satisfied, so the sex must have been good. In the orthodox world, it is the female that is supposed to be guaranteed sexual satisfaction. Yes, there are some truths that we know. There is no sex during the females menses. The attendance of a mikvah at the end of her period. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we all partook in this beautiful ceremony once a month. The complete cleanliness of the mikvah. The pampering one receives from the woman running the bath. Not only is it a ceremonial bath, but it is a monthly manicure (of sorts) and Pedicure (again, of sorts) an exfoliation one could only try to emulate in the privacy of your own shower or bathtub. Also, and most importantly is the desire that two people have for one another after a mandated celibacy. The coming together at the end of this self imposed (yes, it is said, but how many people do you know that always do what is right?) denial of human desires? There is a beauty and the more I research this, the more sense it makes. We have all heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder….this absence occurs every month during child bearing years. I personally think it is a wonderful way to keep the romance alive and well. The excitement month after month of looking forward to making love with your life partner. Perhaps this is something the entire world can learn from. Instead of taking for granted, or having that “occasional” headache, we yearn to be with the one we love. Even after Fifteen years or more with the same partner. I have to admit…I am all for this!! With this, I end this wishing you all a Shabbat Tov and a Shavua Tov.


Orthodox lovin’

April 7, 2009

Its interesting, when I first decided to research the sexuality of Orthodox Jewish couples, my friends, and colleagues rolled their eyes, and asked what was there to learn? The amount of people who told me about the alleged hole in the sheet, sent me from mild amusement to wildly trying to get across that this “hole” is folk lore, and that the sex lives of couples, both secular and religous are ones of joy and intimacy. The Jewish religion is not the only religion who holds their sex life in such high esteem, but it is the one I know most of, and that holds my interest more than others. Perhaps it is because it is my religion, or perhaps it is because it is so misunderstood. This all started from going into business to sell marital aids to the orthodox community. A safe, discreet and “very female” shopping experience. Although, this is still very much what I wish to provide, I have now become so much more interested in the actual ways of Orthodox sexuality and Halacha. Perhaps this really was the way my path was supposed to take me.

Hello world!

April 6, 2009

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